Best Computer Quotes of All-Time!

Computers must be female. No one but the creator understands their internal logic. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you." Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. ~Author Unknown

Computers must be male. As soon as you commit to one you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the day. ~Author Unknown

Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. ~Clifford Stoll

Computers are like old testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. ~Joseph Campbell

Computers have lots of memory but no imagination. ~Author Unknown

As network administrator I can take down the network with one keystroke. It's just like being a doctor but without getting gooky stuff on my paws. ~Scott Adams ("Dogbert")

Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. ~Dave Barry, Claw Your Way to the Top

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. ~Jeff Pesis

I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. ~Author Unknown

Don't explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. ~Robert A. Heinlein

It's not computer literacy that we should be working on, but sort of human-literacy. Computers have to become human-literate. ~Nicholas P. Negroponte

Rebooting is a wonder drug - it fixes almost everything. ~Garrett Hazel, "Help Desk Blues," 2002

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. ~John F. Kennedy

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little. ~Eric Porterfield

The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers. ~Sydney J. Harris

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't. ~Author Unknown

There are three kinds of death in this world. There's heart death, there's brain death, and there's being off the network. ~Guy Almes

There are two major products that came out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We do not believe this to be a coincidence. ~Jeremy S. Anderson

Those parts of the system that you can hit with a hammer (not advised) are called hardware; those program instructions that you can only curse at are called software.

A user and his leisure time are soon parted. ~Author Unknown
Apathy Error: Don't bother striking any key. ~Author Unknown

I wish life had an Undo function. ~Author Unknown

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it. ~Author Unknown

In the old days, people robbed stagecoaches and knocked off armored trucks. Now they're knocking off servers. ~Richard Power

Software is slowing faster than hardware is accelerating.

Some people can hack it, others can't. ~Author Unknown

The inside of a computer is as dumb as hell but it goes like mad! ~Richard Feynman

Unix was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things. ~Doug Gwyn

Unix is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity. ~Dennis Ritchie

The Unix philosophy basically involves giving you just enough rope to hang yourself. And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure. ~Author Unknown

Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. ~Alan Turing, about computers

What boots up must come down. ~Author Unknown